Comments . . . Rather, the lack thereof.

Okay, I've tried replying via comments, but to no avail! I don't know why that's not working. I looked into it a bit, only to discover it's going to take a bit more time to figure out. :-( 

If anyone has any else has had to troubleshoot something like this, please help!

~Perplexed Me

To Know

I feel I have a lot to say - or at least something to talk about - until I have the few moments to type something out. Then, blank.

This afternoon, I'm just going to try to power through.

To Know
As we made our cross-country move, from Georgia to Hawaii, I was corresponding a bit with the wife of our last pastor. She had recommended the book The Promise, by Robert Morgan. I expected to dive in and devour it. But digesting the words have taken a lot more time. The author, so far, has been taking the segments of the verse from Romans:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Several months in, I am still parked on the section: to know, page 35. But before I feel ready to move on, there are certain things I've truly got to know. Some of it is just heady Bible facts I've got to personalize, ponder, and experience for myself. Some stuff, I just need for God to reveal and confirm his truth to me. I want to know the whys. But I'm sure what I need is to just trust God, release my lack of understanding to him, exercise a bit more faith.

Life is full of so many unknowns and things I cannot control. I need to those "knowns" to be carved into my soul.

The Rubber Meets the Road
God's timing is, of course, spot on. Through Bible study, messages at church, and meaningful moments, God continues to reassure me and prepare me for the road ahead. We are staring another yearlong deployment in the nose. And frankly, I've already been overwhelmed.

Saying good-bye wouldn't be so hard if I could be assured 100% that it wasn't really "good-bye," more of a "see you later." I am confident in God's protection, his sovereignty. But I also realize that God's children are not exempt from the afflictions and misfortunes of life on this earth. I have seen God weave his blessings through the saddest of circumstances. And I am confident that no matter what we face, God will be with us each step of the way.

Knowing all that does bring great comfort, but it's also hard to not resign your soul to believing the worst will happen. After all, how can God grow us if not through suffering (thank you, "fundamental Biblical teachers" for emblazoning that partial truth into my mindset - blergh!)?

And then Sunday, the message was given (via video) by Francis Chan. His words were the very balm my soul needed. God wants good things for us. God loves us. God wants to know us; he wants us to know him! God wants good things for me. God wants to show me his goodness in this life - while I'm still living here on this earth!

Here is something I am still sure of. I will see the Lord's goodness while I'm still alive. (Psalm 27:13 NIVr)

So awesome that God chose to use his goodness to get to me. Several years ago (2003), I pleaded with God to show me his goodness. Enter: my William (and all the blessings that have followed).

To Hope
Hope has, of late, been a hard concept for me. I know God will work all things together for good in my life. But something holds me back from hoping too much. And it's not all "que sera sera," "let go and let God." I've been afraid to hope. Because hope not realized equals disappointment. And sometimes pending disappointment is just too much for a soul to bear.

But again, God has given me something worth holding onto, something I can know.

The LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. (Psalm 147:11)

My hope is in God's unfailing love. He loves me. He has a plan for my today, my tomorrow. And somehow, my life fits into his greater plan.

God Knows Me
God gave me a beautiful picture to hold onto for the days to come. I had gone up to our family favorite beach spot ~ a beautiful lagoon up in Hale'iwa. The clouds were overhead and the weather was misty when I got there. So I just pulled my hoodie on and walked down to the shore. I was looking for sea glass (one of my fav beachside pastimes), when I turned toward the water and saw the most intense, most beautiful rainbow - spanning our little lagoon. :-) It was as though God was speaking to my heart: that we'd all be there together again. I'm holding on tight to that one.

And now I must go. Real life, once again, beckons.

Period of Adjustment

So tonight, after a friend picked up her two boys from our house, I put my own Boy to bed. Then I changed into workout wear and headed downstairs.
Hello, Shaun T.
Hello, Pure Cardio workout.

Totally kicked my keister. The last few minutes were near agony. But it felt so good.

I think evening workouts are going to work out better for me for a while. I'm not as motivated to jump up in the mornings b/c I'm afraid I'll wake up the little people - and I don't want everyone's day to start that early. Plus, the best of intentions to get up early can be easily curtailed by a short night or one riddled w/interrupted sleep (the baby, the Boy's bad dreams, the puppy). It's been getting better. But still, even the anticipation of being woken up messes w/the restfulness of my sleep.

The shift in routine should help especially when William is away. A hard workout wears me out . . . and makes bed look more enticing. I need that. I can't/shouldn't keep up this midnight-to-bed funk I fall into every time my William is out for a night.

LOL, and on that note, I'd better go. I have some laundry to fold and put away before crawling into bed.

. . . Already looking forward to the morning, though. My workout is already done. My shower already had. Plan: wake up, take the dog out, pour myself a cup o' joe, and read my Bible. I'm sad to admit that too many days have passed since I've taken time to do that.

My "Wonderful Life"

George Bailey's got nothing on me ~ mainly because his life is fictitious and mine is not. :)

Last night after my husband poured himself and I a fresh cup of to-go coffee, we walked the few blocks to the Christmas Tree Lightening here on Post. Our little Sunshine all comfy in her stroller, our young Compadre taking all the fun detours along the way (how can you pass by the monkey bars and not play on them?), my husband and I walking as much "together" as possible, and our froofy little pup walking circles around me (who had quite the time juggling the ever tangling leash and my cup o' joe).

There was just a bit of coolness in the air. So refreshing.

We arrived at the event Field, and immediately got in the long "photo w/Santa" line. The little Compadre promptly abandoned us to join the other kids climbing in a nearby tree (an awesome climbing tree). My husband and I were amused by this: The Boy is off in a tree while we're waiting in line for him to see Santa.

We watched the sun set behind the mountains. So beautiful.

Just as darkness settled around us, they had the big tree lighting moment. Oh yes, first Santa showed up on the roof of the nearby Division Headquarters building. There was talk of Santa making a really cool entrance - such as repelling down the side of the building or out of a helicopter. But I think he just took the stairs down. That's okay. I think even this Santa was older than the general populace around here. He looked pretty authentic. Jolly, warm, friendly, grandfatherly.

And Santa did not disappoint. My Boy was so excited! And even little Sunshine didn't mind hanging w/him for a bit (despite her being out past the usual bedtime). The MWR did an awesome job taking photos!


The workers were so friendly and accommodating. After our turn w/Santa, our Boy realized he didn't get to ask Santa for something. So we went back and asked for a moment to talk with Santa. Mr. Elf ushered us back up the sleigh. And Santa eagerly listened to Benji's secret. The MWR folks captured that moment as well. :)


A couple of friends joined us in line for the evening's festivities. They hopped in Santa's sleigh too - with our little dog!


A very fun, memorable night with the fam. And extra fun with new friends. :) We grabbed a food court dinner together after (b/c this lady didn't make plans for dinner), and chatted a bit more.

Then we walked home: The Girl in her stroller, the Boy bopping along (a bit slower than earlier that evening), my husband and I walking as much together as we could, and the doggie catching a ride on the top of the stroller.

It was dark. Not many other folks out. But the Christmas lights all aglow. (How often do you get to use the word aglow?) And us just loving the evening and the being together. People live for moments like that - at least I do.

My Boy's Christmas List

During school yesterday, I offered two journal projects to my Boy - a fun one and a work one, and he could choose which to do first. He chose the fun one: Write or draw a picture of two things you'd like for Christmas.

He sat and thought, and said he couldn't think of anything. I reminded him we had talked about some regular Legos (to replace the Duplo kind he's outgrown). "Oh, yeah! Awesome Legos!" He wrote down Legos. More pondering.

"Fritz!" (the new family puppy). "Fritz was kind of for Christmas." I was surprised to hear him put those together. My husband and I had just talked about Fritz kind of being for Christmas - rather, he mentioned it and I said that it was the first I'd heard of it. (We had promised the Boy a pet once we moved and got settled.) Even if we thought Fritzy could kind of be for Christmas, I didn't want to assume that our Boy thought the same. His suggestion seemed to come out of nowhere.

My heart was so warmed by my Boy's contentment. Presented with the opportunity to request anything, he was drawing a blank. (This same child who will get bonkers excited over every toy commercial.)

I did not push or prod him to think of a second thing, but instead rolled into an altered version of the "work" journal entry: What would you like to do for someone else this Christmas? (A lot more personal than the "what makes a person a hero?" that I had planned.)

My B's face lit up. We tossed around some ideas. And he pinpointed what he wanted to do: Take some of his money to give to the people who don't have money or don't have a lot of money.

And now it's up to us parents to help him do that. Our church helps support a "Village of Hope" in Uganda. B and I looked at the Web site together, and I explained a bit of how the Village of Hope project helps people (specifically children). So I think B can take his coins to church and they can put it toward that.

Character Education - A Surprising Point of View

My son sat amidst cookies, candy, and icing. He started heaping icing onto his plate by the spoonful, and I sat there watching him. I was the one who brought all manner of sweets from our cupboards to his little table.

Yesterday, while I was scrambling to find some pointers about teaching "self-control" to my son, I stumbled upon this article. I am not endorsing the Web site. (I am baffled by the author's premise that saying the Pledge of Allegiance may be unpatriotic.) But I greatly appreciate the thought-provoking points in the article about Character Education.

As I read, I kept thinking "Regardless of the shortcomings, why would anyone not support teaching and encouraging good character?!" But I think I do understand a bit. I agree. I do want my children to do the right thing, but I want them to do so for the right reasons - because they want to, because they want what is best for themselves, for their futures, and for those who are around them. I want my kids to be aware of the world around them, and aware of the part they have the opportunity to play.

I don't want my kids to rattle off meaningless definitions or just regurgitate someone else's application to character or moral issues. One's character is a result of their choices - which is a result of one's response to the people and circumstances around them and an indication of their goals and desires.

As I sat watching my son use stick-shaped candy to shovel icing into his mouth. I began to doubt this new "problem solving"/real world approach to character education. Parents are told in the Bible to teach God's ways to their children. And here I sat not just watching, but encouraging my son in gluttony. (Way to go, Mom!) I adjusted a bit, "Okay, you've got 10 minutes to eat as much as you want, or as much as you think your body needs."

Our discussion after the mini-feast was quite productive, I thought. My Boy is actually pretty conscientious about his consumption of sweets. On his own, he will usually determine whether he should have that third sweet for that day or save it until the next. He already knew that too many sweets at one time can make one feel sick. We expounded from there. "Everything we put into our bodies affects our bodies." We discussed the affects of too much junk food, too much food (good or bad), too much coffee, too much alcohol. This was the first time I've talked with him in depth about alcohol - what beverages contain it, it's affects on the body, and the potential harm that can occur when alcohol is consumed without restraint (the risks to the drinker and the risks to others, i.e., the tragedy of accidents caused by drunk driving).

I really appreciate the thought behind the "Problem With Character Education." I do think it is important to differentiate between behaviors and attitudes that are harmful and those that are beneficial to one's self and to society. I will continue to work hard to broaden my children's awareness and hopefully equip them with the tools to make good life choices. But I think my approach - at least to "character education" - will change. Instead of listing out the "fruit of the Spirit" and discussing why we should be "kind, patient, self-controlled," I think I'll try to start with real life scenarios - real situations, stories, hypothetical situations - and talk about the "character attribute" without necessarily labeling it so. I have introduced the fruit of the Spirit to my Boy, but I hope those words will carry more meaning as we discuss life, the affects of our choices, and the importance of treating ourselves and others with respect. (Aretha Franklin said it so well!)

I've long worked with my Boy to sympathize with others - to think about how he would feel if ________________. And recently I've challenged him to be a Problem Solver (versus whining or nagging). He really is a Problem Solver at heart, so he seems to embrace this approach. I think I'll try to use these type discussions to talk further about character issues.

Conflicting Thought about "Character" in the Bible
If there is a sermon or lesson on "Christian Living," I confess I do shutdown. After so many years of trying to adhere to all the "dos and don'ts" that some Christian leaders put forth, the thought of anything remotely similar to all that is overwhelming.

Some people seem to love and greatly esteem the Apostle Paul. I do appreciate him. But some of his writings remind me of the legalism so prevalent in some Christian circles. He was so hardcore - which was vital to the role he played in helping establish and unify the early church.But sheesh, the lists of "character" attributes - what does each mean? And how are we to apply them to our lives? I believe the latter question varies for each of us, simply because our lives are all different from one another. We can't make our lives all look the same - and God wouldn't want us to! He created us as unique creatures, each with different purposes, missions, journeys.

But where did Paul come from? He was well-studied and ardent follower to the most rigid of religious circles. Attributes such as "kindness, goodness, joy, patience, etc.," were a very liberal jump from the strict "dos and don'ts" to which he had so zealously adhered. The "fruit of the Spirit" and similar passages seem to expound on the two greatest commandments given by Jesus: to "love God . . . . Love one another." I wonder, in trying to define and assign specific applications to those attributes, we negate the freedom intended in those very passages and instead recreate the bondage to dos and don'ts.